The upcoming holiday season always seems to work like a magnifying glass in social affairs. We can see in bold letters what the essence of a relationship looks like.
In many cases, this means that we experience a beautiful closeness and a warmhearted connection. In others, we may feel more tension and stress with others than usual.

This is not only true for our family relationships but for all our social interactions. We never know what sticks in people’s mind and what in the long run they associate with us.

I remember a music teacher I had when I was a child. She ate bananas during the lessons with me. Here is the problem: I bananas. I once had to throw up after eating too much of them in kindergarten.>>

We humans feel excited when we find what we were looking for. We are interested and likely engaged in the conversation when we ponder something and suddenly hear others talking about it.
This excitement makes us feel alive and in contact with the world and with others.
How happy we feel relates strangely to our searches and findings in life.>>

Sometimes it is not the pretty stuff that touches us.
We all love perfect music, we adore harmony and emotional expression, happiness, ease and lightheartedness.
But most times these can only be enjoyed because we all know the expression of passion and suffering, dissonance and tragic as well. The contrast gives the deepness.

As humans we like to be happy and lighthearted as well. And we feel tempted to appeal as perfect humans to others. We want to show the pretty stuff. We like to be examples of good humans who have figured everything out.>>

There is this odd difference.
Someone says something nice and we light up. We like how it feels to be around a appreciating person. We like praise, laughter and a smile.
We feel connected to people who are patient, light hearted and easy going.

When someone treats us well, we like that the other person might see something positive, something worthy in us. We might even think we deserve it to be treated that way. It feels natural to us.>>

In real life, we tend to think in economics. We think of saving: saving money, saving time, saving effort. We want to invest where something flows back to us.

I can see that this way of thinking makes sense in many areas.
Where resources are limited saving makes sense. We show that we are responsible human beings when we try to save electricity, don’t waste plastic and when we fix a broken tap.

Human nature prefers short term saving over long term saving. This muddles up everything, because short term saving often means wasting long term.>>

Did you notice that in any field, no matter if you look in a company, in a sports group or in a large family there is gossip.
What is it about people that makes them want to gossip?

Even though in every walk of life there is gossip, not everybody gossips.
Many people do behind the back talking as a habit. But there are also people who just don’t engage in talking smack about absent people.

I recently read an article about the behaviour of lobsters (why are you laughing!?). And in fact the article pointed out that lobsters and humans show startling similarities.>>

All kinds of sports fascinate me. Not exactly the watching part – I hardly can sit still… ;o) But I like all the research and psychological study that gets put into it.

What we do in music resembles remarcably to what sports men and sports women do. We are “all in”, we work our tail off – but still there is no guaranty for outcomes.

Success in general is defined by three factors.
Two of them are out of our control.>>

Words are pure magic. We humans think in images – but still, it is words, that we pass from one person to another. We transfer images into words and share them. The other person decodes the words to again create an image in their mind.

In this way, words are like carrier pigeons. We tie our message on to their legs and let them fly. The recipient opens his window, let’s the pigeon in. He unfolds the message, reads it and let his mind paint the image.>>

Do you know these people that read loads of self-help books? The great How-to-books. How to …. (be slim and happy, be fat and happy, be more successful, be a fabulous lover, not hate your neighbour).
They read these books and after a while they tell us: “Nice book, but you know – these tips just don’t work”.

And yes, they are right. Of course they don’t!
Tips never work!

Why? Knowing without doing is completely useless.
Repeat with me:
Knowing without doing is completely useless.

Common cul-de-sac thought: Tips don’t work.
They don’t work.
YOU have to make them work.>>

Recently someone sent me an article about 3 key questions to get fearless and authentic. It was an interesting read. Here are the main questions the article suggests, readers should ask themselves:

How well do you prepare yourself for life’s tasks?
How well do you motivate yourself?
How effective are you?

I liked that these questions are specific and require honest assessment.
What I did not like was the feeling of: go get results, be effective, results are everything!>>