Recently I learned a lesson about dealing with people who stress me out.
Thinking that someone is a jerk, a person that said something hurtful or that acted in an uncaring way is an easy thing to do.
We all do it from time to time.
I have seen two very extreme and opposite ways to handle a socially uncomfortable situation.
We feel hurt as a reaction on someone’s behavior. Now we
1.) tell ourselves that we would NEVER EVER be like this.>>
I recently came across this quote by the famous American author Peter Drucker
“Management is doing things right, Leadership is doing the right things.” – and I loved it!
When we are teaching, we are changing people. We are changing how they see things, how they feel about certain things, how they behave and sometimes, when we do it right, we change who they believe to be.>>
There is the regular and there is the luxury version.
Sometimes there is the regular, the fake version and (when you are in China next door, side by side) the luxury version of a thing.
A purse or a shoe.
Or a scarf with a characteristic pattern or a boot in some ugly colour such as yellow.
First we just have the need. After our basic needs are met, we expand our need and we go for the luxury edition.
In case we can’t afford it, maybe we buy the fake thing and tell ourselves it is almost like the luxury edition.>>
Here is the brutal truth: Teaching is hard!
Why?
Because people don’t do what teachers want them to do.
They do something else – or even worse – they do nothing ;o)
The funny thing is I have a degree in music pedagogics but in all my academic studies I did not find any solution to this significant problem.>>
Did you ever hear the saying:
“When you have managed to ride a bycicle, you will never forget it.”
This analogy is often given to express that once we learned certain things, we have achieved something for life. We figured something out and this will serve us for the rest of our life.
Well, this is a very nice idea. BUT. Something clearly is missing in this.>>
The greatest growth block for humans in my opinion is shame.
We are embarrassed about ourselves many times.
We said something stupid or something we regretted later.
Or things did not turn out the way we expected.
Or we failed in some form of a public context.
We did not meet expectations, we made mistakes or we performed poorly (shit happens).
Shame is a weird thing because it creates an invisible cage around us.
We feel isolated when we feel shame.
Nobody is here to comfort us, we are all alone in our little shame prison.
Our feeling of shame keeps us trapped.>>
When I first started teaching, I encountered all kinds of unexpected situations that I was not prepared for at the University. One of them was this:
My little cutie fagottino student told me she played ev-er-y day soo-oo much at home!
She played soo-hoooooo much and eeev-eeer-y day!
– But just not what her homework was.
Very nice. But this actually evoked some thoughts in me.
Maybe I should change her repertoire!?
No matter what our little cuties do, as long as it is with music they should get all the praise we have!>>
Sometimes teaching for me feels like sitting in a taxi.
I am on a journey, I am on the road.
Something out there is moving.
Or am I moving?
Or are we not moving and stuck in a traffic jam?
Red lights?
Constructions everywhere?>>
Do you know the name John Paul DeJoria? He is one of those people who started homeless, with nothing. Today he is a billionaire PLUS he is a philantropist, meaning he is always focused on making the world a better place to live for as many people as possible.
I so much love John Paul’s motto: “Success unshared is a failure“.
Success to be shared of course can be money. But so is
– a smile, so is
– giving support,
– inspiring others,
– sharing loving words and offering help and advise and
– giving encouragement.>>
Bassoonist Julian Baumgartner (9 years old) ist playing Anselma’s Bassoon Adventure Method.
His brother Adam (2 years) is jammin’ in. Yes!!!
