If only the weather was better, I’d feel better.
If only my dog would behave, I’d be a happy person.
If only my neighbour was quieter and did not play loud music in the middle of the night, my life would be ok.
We all have said things like this.
And it might feel totally realistic to us. We might trick ourselves into believing the other person or the circumstance hold the key to our life, our mood and wellbeing.
There is just this tiny little problem with this:
In many situations, we have zero influence what the neighbour, our dog or the weather do.
In fact, we sometimes do have very little influence what WE ourselves do.
(Unless you are one of these rare super humans, who never mess things up. A regular person like me is totally capable of navigating into something where I think, what the frack did I do there? What the hell did I just say? Why do I feel so weird??)
So being totally played be the neighbour, dog or weather leaves us unhappy PLUS unable to change anything.
What a sad story that is!
And that’s all it is, a story we tell ourselves.
We can change it. We can play a new radio in our mind.
Sure, there are things that influence us in a negative way and there ARE in fact situations we better change. If the neighbour is an idiot, talk to the guy who owns the building. If your dog is a pain in the neck, you should go and see a dog trainer.
But obviously there are limits, because unless you blackmail the weather gods, it will still rain on your parade now and then.
Our mind is powerful.
Blaming is some sort of abuse of the mind because it diminishes our power, gives it away to some external force.
Why not catch yourself the next time you see it’s someone elses fault to instead pose this question: “Ok, I see that. What do I do next?”.
“If only the world would change” morphes into
“How can I be helpful in building a beautiful world?”
So much love to you,
Anselma
|
