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The Two Thank Yous

The other day I noticed, there are two ways of saying thank you.
The first is by doing and the second is by speaking. Let me explain.

When I found myself in the fortunate position to experience great mentorship, I felt immensely blessed. A mentor is someone who is on a higher level of mastery than you and who is so generous to share their wisdom in some form.
This person takes the time and effort to show you a better way of doing certain things.

We all experienced mentors in some way or form along our way. The mentor can be a very kind person that we see as a role model. This person helps us to choose the right traits and values to build our character.
A mentor can also be someone who does have a certain skillset and who is willing to putting in the effort to initiate us into their craft.

Mentoring is not an event but a process.
We grow as we go along.
Step by step we chisel the wood we are made of to create a beautiful self.

The proper response to a mentor is not talking – but doing.
We do the steps on our own, we build the artwork of our life by ourselves.
The thank you here is the finest version of self we are able to form as a result.


In contrast to the experience of a generous mentor we see people who do us little – or sometimes big – favors. They give us a smile, they show polished manners, they freely give some kind of a gift, they are just warm and friendly, they go beyond what we would expect.

We meet these people almost every day. The kindness of our neighbour can deeply touch us, the laughing face of a child, the friendliness of the cassier in the super market, the empathic text line a friend sends us, someone lets us into the traffic line.

Favors are done because the giver seeks connection. Being human the right way includes understanding that we are not alone on this stunning planet. We are surrounded by beings who do have emotions and seek to have a good life, just like us.


The favor-giver wants to build a bridge.
It is on us to see this effort and respond with a thank you, where we can.
It motivates the giver to build more bridges and to widen the established ones.
We get closer to each other, when we learn to understand these intentions and react properly.

Lastly we can combine both thank yous, the verbal one and the acting one.
We form the habit of saying thank you where ever we sense the effort to connect and we start to act differently, being kinder, wiser and more giving ourself, when we understand life is about learning and recognizing mentors.

It’s so easy to overlook favors, to be selfish and isolated in the noise of our own head. Being without a thank you – in what form ever – can be a costly mistake.
Let’s give this precious gift. The benefit is on both sides.
We cure ignorance.

Have a wonderful and cosy wintertime
and happy holidays,

p.s. Feel like playing some Christmas Tunes – but nobody is home? Here comes help! The Christmas Fantasy for bassoon solo is my little gift for you for the season and only one player is required! 🙂 (Our Newsletter subscribers are getting the link for the free download here.) Enjoy it and happy music making!

p.p.s: French star bassoonist Lola Decours plays Anselmas Tango Etüde XLVI – what a stunning recording, you will love this!!!