I am not a fan of strict rules.
But I have to admit that in education they are key.
Looking back into my notes that I made to educate myself in pedagogics, I found this quote:
Healthy rules are like a house. The give us a place to live in.
And that’s so true!
Even if you don’t like rigid rules and regulations and you have a tendency (like me) to break out of tight frameworks, children need a clear structure in which they can grow.
Children need your rules.
(And you as a teacher need someone to listen to you…)
Rules give them orientation.
They relax when they get this orientation, because it makes them feel safe and secure.
Clear rules make that children know what they can expect.
They provide stability and consistency.
Without those, we humans feel lost and without a place called home.
Secret #1: Rules that are set with intention, love and care can never harm.
Just regulations without those qualities can cause damage.
Children have no self-concept. They don’t come with an image of themselves.
They have no idea, who they are, what their identity is.
They have no beliefs that tell them who they are.
All of this – everything that has to do with self-understanding – is learned.
Secret #2: Children learn who they are by how they are treated by the people that are important to them.
Give the children in your life positive feedback whenever you can.
Be as nice, as friendly and as supportive as you can.
This will form a positive self-understanding in them and assist them greatly in how they experience themselves.
These two secrets beautifully come together in this:
A loving framework does not only give orientation and a “house to live in”, but also helps a child to like themselves and to base their lives on a positive self-image.
What is the most important principle in raising happy children for you?
Much love,
Anselma
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